You ever
howl?

No, can’t say that I have

Well, son, this
would be the right time

Howl
like a
coyote
lonesome
and full of anguish
maybe
the
stars
can hear you,
maybe
they
can shed
a little
light
your way

Look,
I have a wife
and
kids,
a very good life
and
I’ll
be
ok

I grabbed his arm
and
said
fervently:
Clayton,
anguish
that
isn’t released
is
just
a
fish
that
never
dies,
but only
suffocates
in
the
bucket,
let it out
please,
howl
young man,
just try it!

He started
low
started diffident
cleared
his
throat
shifted
uncomfortably
and
then
let
it
out

Clayton
Kershaw
howled
so
well
the
moon
actually
started
to
smile
but
quickly
bit
its
tongue

You shall
be
released,
they
say

Every morning
you
might
remember
that
it
may
come
back

What’s that?
What
will
I
remember?

That your
very
name,
the
name
your parents
gave you,
is
Clay

So
what?

Clay
breaks

He dropped
his head

I’ll be all right,
he
whispered,
my mom did
a
great job
raising
me

And so
he started to
walk
away
that
tall good
looking,
unmistakable
young man
started
to
leave,
but
he
stopped,
came
back
and
cried
yes
he cried

Can
I return
tomorrow
night?

And
the
night
after
that?

Clay,
until
you
get
past
it
for
once
and
for
all,
of course!

Look, he
insisted,
I
have faith
and
that
will
carry
me
through

All right,
but
the sky
appreciates
the
attention

Howling
deep
and loud
is
good company
for all
that
is
up
there

Clayton
kidded
me
weeks later
saying
he dreamt
of
running
with coyotes,
said
he
was actually
feeling
a
little better

He
even
asked
if he
could
bring
his wife
and
kids
and we’d
all
howl
together

I told him
I told him
right there
right then
I told him:
Friend
you don’t need me,
you
just
need
yourself

What he
didn’t know
and
I never told him
and
I never will

There were hundreds of thousands
of
people
and spirits
around us,
some living,
some
who already passed,
but all who
wanted
him to heal
and
all
who
prayed madly
that
he
would,
that
he
would
know the
untarnished
beauty
once again

We all
pray
in
our
own
way

And you know,
folks,
praying
is just like
howling

It’s
just a
little
quieter

With
Clayton,
with
so many of us,
it’s
a way
to
find
a
path
to
acceptance

Clayton
said to
me
the other night,
said to me:
I think the
stars
are getting brighter
again

I thought to myself:
Kid,
our prayers
are being answered!